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Are You An American Patriot?
By Sir Millard Mulch
Being a real Patriot in America is difficult. Thats because most of the ideas, icons, symbols, and imagery that Americans cling to as their own pride and joy did not originate in America, and have existed around the world (in some cases) for centuries.
Examples:
Cowboys Not American. The Spanish invented what we now consider the cowboy tradition, beginning in the Middle Ages in Spain. Though popularly considered as an American icon, cowboys are a New Hispanic tradition, which originated in the Central States of Mexico, Jalisco and Michoacan.
Guns Guns were certainly not invented in America. Gunpowders use has been documented for roughly 800 years, and its invention is often attributed to the Chinese.
Hamburgers Not American. The hamburger as ground meat can be traced back to the time when the Mongols (c. 1209) carried flat patties of lamb or mutton as a food source.
French Fries Actually not American, nor French, but Belgian in origin.
Apple Pie NOT American. Can be traced back to England as early as 1831.
English Language NOT invented in America. Not from England, either. It was actually brought to England from Germany.
The Southern Accent Combined the accent of English immigrants from the British Isles and African influences from the African Americans who were at this time enslaved in the South.
Beef Jerky Invented by the Incas.
Wrestling Certainly not American. Wrestling is a natural physical struggle between any two people.
Popcorn Nope. Popcorn Soup and Popcorn Beer were already being consumed by Native Americans by the time Europeans got to America.
Beer Older than even writing itself. The Ancient Egyptians drank it.
Soda Pop Carbonated beverages were first invented by Joseph Priestly, a Chemist from England.
Barbecue Originated in the Caribbean.
Car Racing The first Automobile was invented in Germany by Karl Benz in 1885. The first car race ever took place ten years later in France in 1895.
Pornography The earliest documented dirty drawing is over 7,000 years old.
Lawn Mowers - The idea of a machine to cut grass was conceived in Gloucestershire, England around 1830 by freelance engineer Edwin Beard Budding.
Breast Implants - Implants have been used at least since 1865 to augment the size of women's breasts. The earliest known implant occurred in Germany.
Guitars Invented in Iran! How dare they!
Baseball Based on the British ball-and-bat game called, Rounders.
Football Based on the English game, Rugby, and even further back, based on a game in China during the Han Dynasty.
Red, White, and Blue The American Flag was directly based on, and originally INCORPORATED the Union Flag of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Countless other flags have flown using those same colors and shapes for centuries. America did not invent stars, nor did they invent stripes.
The Land Itself which was already occupied, but theres no reason to bring that up, right?
And... last but not least...
The Star Spangled Banner This song, originally called, To Anacreon In Heaven, was the official song of the Anacreontic Society (a gentlemens social club in London from the mid-1700s), named after the Greek Poet Anacreon, whose songs celebrated drinking and women. It was commonly used as a sobriety test: If you could sing a stanza of the notoriously difficult melody and stay on key, you were sober enough for another round. The lyrics were changed by a lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key during the War of 1812, and the song was adopted as the American National Anthem in 1931. The Grand Duchy of Luxembourg also adopted the melody as their National Anthem for a while, but thats not important.
Out of all of this, the most important thing to note is that Americans did not invent Patriotism. It is not uncommon for people to think that the place they live in is the best place in the universe, and to cheer for their local sports team. That is basic tribe mentality. It happens.
The problem in this case is that America is a cosmopolitan society; they are genre-hoppers. They borrow most of their culture from other cultures and pretend it is theirs. No matter how many times they celebrate MEMorial Day, they are no good at reMEMbering what things mean and where they come from.
So...
Before marching off to war, question what it is that you are celebrating, saluting, defending, killing, and dying for. A symbol? An object? A recipe? A uniform? A government? A flag? A language? A plot of land? An idea or two, perhaps?
-Sir Millard Mulch.
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