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I Laughed Till I Cried - This is SO true
Mattel recently announced the release of 11 limited-edition Barbie Dolls
for the Greater Indianapolis market:
Carmel Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at Clay Terrace shopping center. She
comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available
with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with an augmented version.
Fishers Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan
and matching gym outfit She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
separately.
East 10th Street Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model
is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably
small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know
what you are talking about.
Geist Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and
PrivateSchool Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Speedway Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.
Downtown Barbie
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet
prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
Beech Grove Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Speedway Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Broad Ripple Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch
less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks.
She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken
doll, but if you purchase two Broad Ripple Barbies and the optional
Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
38th Street Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of
the infant.
Greenwood Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's
always hunting.
Irvington Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts...
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